Sweet Talker
by BethSHeartbeat
Summary: A series of unrelated one shots based on each of the songs on Jessie J's new album Sweet Talker
1. Ain't Been Done

**Basically if you didn't already know, I am a massive Jessie J fan so I have decided that I'm going to do this series, they'll be unrelated one shots but to each song of Jessie's new album 'Sweet Talker'. This is the first and the song is called Ain't Been Done, I do not own the songs or the lyrics.**

_Can't beat me I'm a show sharp winner_  
_One of a kind, I'm original_  
_I'm so ill, gonna need a painkiller_  
_Stealing the show like a criminal_

Before Max, the crushing feeling of defeat and disappointment in herself was common, he seemed to make her feel good about herself though with few words and gave her a new sense of self-confidence. There was now the renewed feeling that she was good enough and that she was the best that she could be, Zoe Hanna was on top and that was how she liked it too be, she was one of a kind and surely that made her better than Connie Beauchamp?

_Don't fight, follow the leader_  
_Give a little and you might get some_  
_This one's for the non-believers_  
_All together now everyone_

Despite the loss of the Clinical Lead position, Zoe was at the top of her game and seemed to be well liked across the ED staff, something that only a few weeks previously seemed impossible. Connie had lost her standing after only being in the job a matter of weeks, already she had people talking about her behind her back and ignoring her rule. The decision that Max had helped her make had put an end to all the people who had not believed in her before and now everyone was on her side, just the way she liked it. Max

Max had seemed to seep into every area of her life, infiltrating each part so slowly that she barely noticed that he was, until now that he was such a vital part of it. It was him who gave Zoe her confidence back, it was him who helped her to make all the important decisions that she faced, despite the fact that he was normally so anti-seriousness.

_I'm a do it like it ain't been done_  
_On top only just begun_  
_Better believe I'll be your number one_  
_I'm a do it like it ain't been done_  
_And I hope you're holding on_  
_Cause' I'm going, going, gone_  
_I'm a do it like it ain't been done_  
_I'm a do it like it ain't been done_

This was Zoe's time, maybe not as head of the ED but certainly as top dog, she was going to work harder than she ever had before and get back to what she'd gone into medicine for in the first place because medicine was not about the office politics and funding, it was about saving lives and treating people to the best of your ability. Getting back to that would put her further on top of Connie in their war for dominance and Zoe didn't do number two, she would always be number one.


	2. Your Loss I'm Found

_Where did we go?  
Put your hand down  
I'm scared to know  
What I'm feeling, yeah  
Say yes or no  
Do I give up and just let go  
Or keep on dreaming?_

He watched Zoe from his position in the staff room, the way she walked around unaware of the people watching her and how in a zone she was when she was treating patients had put him in a zone. The dress she was wearing hugged her figure in all the right places, making Max desperate to tell her how beautiful she looked and how much he loved her. Sometimes when he looked at her, it felt like his heart could burst with pride and love but she wasn't his. He couldn't tell her all of these things as they weren't together, maybe once upon a time it could have worked, but not now. Zoe's mixed signals made everything ten times harder, leaving him confused, he wanted her and she knew that, every so often she'd give him a glimmer of hope just to keep him hanging on and now Max was convinced that she was just being cruel to him.

_Is this love, can you tell me?  
I've had enough  
Oh, so tell me_

_How can I be your lover?  
Stop turning me down  
One day when you discover,  
How bright I try to love you now  
I won't be around  
It's too late  
You're lost, I'm found_

He walked away, back to work but more symbolically he was walking away from Zoe once and for all. He'd done his best, he'd fallen hard for the older doctor he'd even been ready to give up him womanizing ways in favor of settling down with Zoe. One day she would realise what she'd lost when she'd given up Max, when she'd realise the life she could have had. Gone were the days where he'd chase Zoe Hanna around, waiting for her to fall in love with him. He was banishing her to the back of his brain and trying to do the same with her in his heart, today was the day he was leaving Holby for he could not be around her and stand a chance of moving on.

_I gave my all  
Guess you knew all along I would fall  
For your teasing, why?  
And no matter what, I won't go back to who I was_

To some it would look like he was being pathetic, leaving over a woman, but it was the only way. Zoe had infiltrated every part of his life, leaving him not sure how to fully function without her, he had to go cold turkey and completely give up on her because he wasn't sure how else he'd get over his addiction to her. He'd given his all to something she considered a bit of fun, leaving him heartbroken.

_It's too late, your loss I'm found  
_


	3. Bang Bang

_She got a body like an hourglass  
But I can give it to you all the time  
She got a booty like a Cadillac  
But I can send you into overdrive oh  
You've been waiting for that  
Stop, hold up, swing your bat  
See anybody could be bad to you,  
You need a good girl to blow your mind, yeah_

News that Zoe and Max had started a relationship had spread through the hospital like a wild fire, with very few people having escaped from the news. Most people had been pleased for the couple but there one at least one person who wasn't, a person who was currently outside Max's cupboard trying to pluck up the courage to go inside. Max and she had been a casual thing that had ended only a couple of days before he was suddenly in love with Zoe, and now she wanted him back. She didn't even knock before bursting into the room that Max liked to call his office.

"Georgie?! What are you doing here?" Max asked, unsure as to what his ex wanted.

"What has she got that I haven't?" Georgie demanded, referring to Zoe.

"Do you wanna' list?" Max asked, seeing the anger growing on the young nurse's face.

"I'm young, I'm pretty, I have far more to offer you than that old cow could." She spoke, moving closer to Max before whispering in his ear. "Remember last time we were in her before she interrupted, we could have had so much fun Max, we still could you know."

"No we couldn't because I love Zoe, I never wanted you, I just wanted to get over Zoe."

"You don't love her, you just think you do. How could she love you back though? Think about it Max, she's a middle aged consultant and you're a porter, what would she want from you? She's just using you Max." Georgie spoke as Max tried to put some distance in between them, he knew that she was just throwing words at him out of anger and jealousy but it didn't stop them hurting.

"Do you know what? You're clueless, maybe one day you'll discover that love isn't about what you can get from someone, it's so much more. I don't care whatever you could offer me, it's not you I love Georgie it's Zoe." He said, hearing the tell-tale signs of Zoe's heels against the floor as she stopped outside the door upon hearing voices from inside the cupboard. "You see, I want to spend the rest of my life with Zoe, I let her go once and it was the biggest mistake I ever made, I'm not going to allow myself to make that mistake again. I love her more than I could have ever imagined, growing up I always thought that I'd never settle down, I didn't think I wanted that but since meeting Zoe everything changed and now I can't think of anything better than growing older with her. I'm not ever going to leave that, maybe now you've got that, now instead of wasting your time trying to get me back why don't you go out and try and find a love like I have with Zoe?" Max replied, opening the door for Georgie, and unsurprisingly finding Zoe too, her eyes brimming with tears.

"You're so soppy sometimes you know." Zoe spoke before she leant forward to kiss him, his arms immediately slipping around her waist as they pulled apart slightly, their noses still touching, "I love you too."


	4. You Don't Really Know Me

"How about a nice girl's night out?" Tess and Robyn asked the senior consultant, for a moment Zoe considered. After all she'd been through recently, all she wanted to do was go home and lay in the arms of her partner and yet she couldn't bring herself to say no. The department had been a haven for stress recently and she knew that the two women in front of her needed a break, anyway maybe it'd take her mind off the thing that she didn't want to be thinking about. Everyone could tell that she wasn't her normal self and yet they just assumed that she too was stressed, after all Max was okay and if anything but work was wrong then he'd have been the same as Zoe was acting.

"Yeah okay, I'll see you in reception at the end of the shift." Zoe replied, doing her best to muster a smile as she spoke. Walking off slightly, she tried her best not to let the tears that were forming in her eyes spill down her cheeks. She didn't want anyone to see her pain, not even Max knew of it and yet she was heartbroken.

_The girl who always says yes  
Wants to scream no  
Takes over everyone's stress  
And ignores her own  
The life and soul of the party  
But loves to stay home  
She says she's not broken-hearted  
But she cries on her own_

"Max, I'm going out with your sister and Tess tonight." Zoe told him as she caught up with her partner in the corridor.

"Okay, you deserve a night out." Max replied, "Are you okay?" he asked, noticing the tears clouding over her eyes.

"Yeah, sorry we just had another death in resus and you know how emotional I get when I'm tired." She lied, for a second she wondered why she was lying to him but she knew exactly why she was doing it. Within a week she'd discovered that she was pregnant, despite the 1/100 chance of conceiving, but before she'd found the perfect moment to tell Max she'd miscarried the baby. For three weeks she'd been living with the grief and guilt all on her own, she didn't want Max to go through what she was now, if he never knew that she was pregnant then why should she put him through the pain of the miscarriage. Deep down she knew that she was wrong, that Max deserved to know but she was doing it with the best intention but still she wanted nothing more than just to cry and grief with someone else knowing what she going through.

Playing pretend  
I shouldn't hide it  
It isn't right  
Being a liar  
I'm crossing the line  
Dancing with fire,  
When I'm not fine  
Should I deny it?

She knew that the grief was making her mad, she knew that the constant guilt that she felt from blaming herself for having somehow causing the loss of her baby was getting her nowhere. Inside she felt shattered, her heart had smashed into tiny pieces that she wasn't quite sure how to put back together, or even if she could. Plastering a smile across her face she tried to get on with her day, to hide the pain from everyone else so that they couldn't see how broken she was. To everyone looking in her life was a dream, she was a well-paid consultant who loved her job and who had a loving partner who'd do anything for her, and they'd just moved in together. No one knew of the nightmare that she was living, the torment she felt at the loss of her child, the baby that she'd so desperately wanted. All she knew was that this wasn't her, she knew it and Max knew it and yet she knew that she was going to continue to pretend because although it was killing her, Max was living in blissful happiness while he was oblivious to the experience that Zoe was going through.

_Cause I'm going crazy when I'm not okay,  
I keep praying that the cracks don't show my pain,  
Cause even when I'm falling, I say my life is like a dream,  
But I'm fighting through a nightmare,  
Cause I'm not really being me,  
See you don't really know me_

**_A/N Sorry for it being sad, this might be awful but I've never been through pregnancy or miscarriage so I have no experience of it but I'm hoping it's still okay._**

**_Beth x_**


	5. Personal

_No I'm not a liar_

Just don't know how to tell you the truth

All we need is time

We don't know why we do what we do

But we do

As she lay in the hospital bed all alone, she yet again wondered why she'd done what she'd done. Max's words from earlier in the day had really hurt her, although she knew she fully deserved anything he threw at her. She hadn't meant to lie, she'd tried both at their flat and outside the registry office, to tell the truth and yet the words seemed to stick in her throat and instead be replaced by phrases like 'I love you'. She knew that time was a healer, but it remained unclear as to whether it would be mending her broken heart or Max's trust in her.

_On a night like this_

Just don't know what I'm trying to prove

No we can't predict

The reasons why we do what we do

But we do, but we do

As she opened her eyes again, they fell upon the man she'd been most desperate to see and yet wasn't quite sure how to face. The chair that was previously beside her, now sat at the other side of the room, as far a way as Max could get while still in the room. The man in front of her was a shadow of the man she'd known, she'd broken his heart and it was obvious. He watched her expectantly, waiting for her to make a move, she knew she had to do something to prove that she wanted him and only him and yet she didn't know what to do. She loved him so much and yet she'd cheated and she couldn't even begin to explain why.

"I love you Max." Zoe whispered.

_When you fall in love_

You can't help it when you act like a fool

When you look above

You see the reasons why we do what we do

It'd been only a matter of hours since she'd been discharged, Max had stood in the room and made out that he'd look after her to the doctor but had left once they'd got home. His wedding ring lay abandoned on his bedside table and his clothes lay half packed in a case on the end of the bed. Zoe moved the case to the floor, she wasn't going to physically stop him from leaving her but she knew she had to do everything that she could to keep him. She lay back on the bed, on Max's side where it smelt strongly of him. Tears pricked at her eyes as she realised that she may never get to cuddle up to him again. Staring at the ceiling was doing little to help her, she even thought about praying to the god that she had abandoned in her teen years.

_Ain't got a shotglass in my fist_

To spill it away on my business

Telling these strangers about you

I'm getting too, I'm getting too, I'm getting too Personal with you

It was 10 before she ended up in the pub, she'd got through two large glasses of wine before she decided that they just weren't strong enough. The shot glass of pure vodka in front of her was tempting and yet she wasn't sure, it was alcohol that had got her into her current mess. She didn't want to spill her heart out, she didn't want to end up in bed with a total stranger. She'd done both before, she'd poured her heart out to Max and now she was left hurting. She'd slept with a stranger and left Max hurting. She need him back, she loved him more than she'd ever imagined she could, she'd gotten personal with him and now he had the power to hurt her and completely shatter her heart.

_Now I'm wondering_

_They can tell that I've been crying all night?_

_Cause I told myself_

_I don't love you, though I know it's a lie_

_Cause I do_

She walked into work, she'd drank a little too much but she'd stayed in control. She'd stumbled back into bed around midnight and just cried for most of the night. Make up had covered the majority of the proof she'd cried, but there was little she could do with the puffiness that surrounded her eyes. Half of her wondered just how obvious it was that she'd been crying an how obvious it would be, she knew that Max would notice but he wouldn't say anything. She'd spent the night trying to convince herself that she didn't need Max, that she could live without him, but as he walked past her looking as broken as she did, she knew that she couldn't live without him. Lying to herself wasn't helping when all it took was him to walk past to undo it all.

_Hear me out, hear me out right now, hey_

Hear me out, hear me out now, hey

You've been running through my mind all day

Hear me out now, hear me baby

_"_Max?" She called after she'd seen a few patients.

"I'm busy." He told her bluntly, not bothering to even look at her, and instead stared at the floor.

"No ones needing to be moved right now." Zoe pointed out.

"Doesn't mean they won't need moving in a minute." He replied, finally looking up but he seemed to look through her rather than at her.

"Hear me out Max, you've been running through my mind since that night. Just hear me out." He went to say something, but sensing he wasn't going to say what she wanted, she interrupted. "Please Max, just give me that. Just 15 minutes and if you still want nothing to do with me, I'll let you go."

"Okay."


End file.
